God has been doing some awesome things in my life. For the past few weeks, I have been in a place where I’ve truly felt as though I am walking with God every moment of my day. It has been a time of great consolation and peace that I pray never fades.
I decided to go to Confession even though I wasn’t sure if I had anything to confess (this rarely happens). The first thing I did was pick up a copy of the examination of conscience at the entrance of the Church. I don’t even like the one our parish uses, but I decided to take it anyway. As I knelt, I read the first line in the examination: “Pray that God would make you aware of your sins and that you would trust in his divine mercy.”
After some time of prayer, God began to open my heart to a pattern in my life that I had known to be a struggle but I had often avoided in my examination. As I stared at the cross, he began to reveal to me in a profound way the depth of his love and mercy for me. For the first time in several years, he was calling me to confess this area of my life that I knew I had not given over to him. Without a doubt, he was calling me to take that next big step of faith by inviting him into the struggle and entrusting it to him. For the first time, I felt absolutely ready to do so. I was ready to sacrifice a huge part of who I had been because in that moment, I was given a grace to see what was waiting for me on the other side.
As I have reflected on this experience, the call to discipleship has become much more real for me. A disciple is driven by a love for Jesus Christ that initiates a “dropping of the nets” in order to follow him. The reality behind my recent experience is that deep down inside, I knew for many years that what I was doing was going to have to change, but the Lord waited to give me that invitation until the time was right. He knows me and patiently loves me every moment of every day, and I am motivated to remain with him as a result.
May we be this patient and inviting to the youth with whom we work. May we model friendship and care in this way so that they may be driven to follow something greater than themselves and respond to a life of discipline and sacrifice with hearts full of peace and joy. God is truly alive and working in the Church, and I am most grateful to be able to be a part of it.